When we were young and carefree, with tons of time and energy at our disposal, we thought that the good times would last forever, and everything will be the same, parents, family and friends will be with us - forever.
And also many who were more blessed with resources felt that they are invincible.
As you age and get the experience, you come to know the truth about all this.
Some few people are indeed lucky, they get what they desire in life without much efforts, and feel successful.
What about others?
Those who work very hard without much success and also get entangled in the complexities of life. The truth is many things change alongside the fleeting time, both at our personal and
family level - over the years.
On our job front, many of our colleagues leap frog in their career, some of them complete
their higher education or get skilled along the way with their job and later quit their
job for a better prospects, income and career.
Its possible that, Back then, some of you too couldn't make it to the top due to multiple self made and
system made constraints. Then you see that, within a few decades,
everyone had moved-on and you were the last person standing in the same place.
Same job. leading the Same life.
For people who don’t get ahead, in this meritocratic society like ours, a
redundancy is almost like a given punishment by fate that forces us to accept
everyday with a pinch of salt, gulping down an unsatisfactory job, salary and
lifestyle that's not so happy with what one had envisaged and has now landed in life and career.
If so, it feels like you've lost everything and feels that way most of the time. The fastest way to feel lost is to compare your situation to others. And that's sometimes unavoidable in the real sense. Its human to do so in the present times where information of success reaches far and wide so quickly, digitally to your mobile device.
It creates envy, jealousy, and never-ending frustration. If you compare your life to someone else’s, all you get is misery.
But the truth is : They are not you. You are not them.
Firstly: We need to stop thinking that everyone is better
or more perfect than we are. No one told me back then to me, when I needed it the most. In my
experience, I can tell you that the happiest people on the outside
could also often have the darkest secrets on their inside too.
So, the solution is to focus on your current situation. Current possibilities and improve in baby steps in areas you have not been so successful according to you. First Crawl, Stand, Walk, Jog, Run and then Sprint. If you compare directly to the sprinters, you reach no where except frustration.
Quit comparing. That's the primary thing to do. Getting inspired is fine but not chronic self sabotage in the name of poor accomplishments.
Then you slowly start to feel that you’re not behind in life. And aren’t failing.
You’re right where you need to be. You are doing the best you can with the
information you have.
The biggest achievements take decades of feeling-lost for quite some time in order for it to happen. It sometimes needs a sabbatical from other activities. Quick results and first-aid may not last long.
Actually, in what you’ve lost. May be you didn’t realize for many years that
you’ve also not lost so much. It needs a proper dissection.
In reality, life is far more than all of that. Yes! Life is far more than all
of that mess of achievements.
Because it’s not all that a sad story. The truth is that your losses have also
led to such enormous gains.
When we lose enough time, we become more humble. Periods of loss has paved the way to re-discover yourself.
What follows will be a period of humility. All this needs profound failures.
You come to understand how little value people actually are when compared to nature and that’ll
take you to a life elevated from all other material or physical things and get
you closer to nature's level, at a divine level. That's the ultimate success.
You’ll realize that sleeping with a calm
mind and waking up with gratitude was not a failure. It's indeed a success
too.
A stable lifelong job, a small trade or job and a simple family life isn't something to complain about as failure.
It’s also bringing out this hidden leadership potential as well. To lead yourself
alone and not go and get lost in the voices of the crowd.
You also realize that, If you look at frustrating situations with “look how bad
this is” it gets you nowhere. Look at what bad events are doing to you and
ask yourself, 'What’s the opportunity here? and a ask yourself: Is it really that
bad' this perspective puts you in a better state to deal with it.
Learn to get "un-lost" and free yourself.
Happy Days!